


Love In The Emancipated Pizza Box

by McMorpheus



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Cheese, F/F, Love at First Sight, Pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 21:17:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McMorpheus/pseuds/McMorpheus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A cheese-meltingly beautiful love story chronicling the first meeting of Calliope Torres and Arizona Robbins, the calzones: an unconventional romance filled with music, theatre,and a liberal sprinkling of cheddar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love In The Emancipated Pizza Box

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya guys, here's my first fanfic! Just a oneshot about calzonesexual romance for the moment, but the breaded stage may expand given enough public appeal. Recommended listening: an upbeat, romantic song of your choice to complement this work.  
> Quick glossary: cheese melting = arousal  
> calzone = female  
> pizza = male  
> cooking = surgery
> 
> Do please leave comments, constructive criticism is very welcome!

There comes a moment in every baked good's life when she finds the bread-based dish she's been looking for her whole life, with whom to bake.  
For Calliope the calzone, this moment dumped itself in front of her during the most ordinary day of her life, opened its mouth and demanded to be given attention. Not many baked goods are particularly attractive to the wild calzone, raised in isolation from progressive calzones living in the emancipated pizza box, and for this reason no one could have been more shocked than Calliope herself when she fell in bake with a pizza-based consumable with whom she had never imagined baking.  
Arizona the calzone was 8 inches of golden goodness. Her bread dough was a warm brown that just begged to have cheese drizzled all over it, and from inside of her the smell of grilled vegetables, steak and cheese wafted out with a dough-wateringly seductive smell. Arizona was a catch.  
All the calzonesexual pizzas wanted some of that, but Arizona was not of the pizzasexual disposition; she had bigger things in mind. And i literally mean bigger, calzones can get to be real whoppers.  
Calliope had just come out of a committed relationship with a really sweet, yet ultimately unsatisfying pizza who had cheated on her with a vegetable calzone, and was understandably driven to come to terms with some things about herself with all of her spare time (pizza-calzone baking is a time consuming affair). She was sure of three things:  
First, she was sure of one thing: she hated communal ovens.  
Second, it was definite that she wanted to specialise in dough surgery when she graduated cook school.  
Thirdly- and this was the one that made her tomatoes tremble and her cheese melt a little - she liked (whisper it) calzones.  
She wanted to bake with warm calzones stuffed with filling upon filling, to trail her crusts along crimped edges and be drenched in flowing cheeses. No more of this flat, circular business which was so difficult for her to enjoy; Calliope was ready to be herself.  
The legendary meeting between Calliope and Arizona the calzones is one which can only be done justice when performed, preferably by actors skilled in the art of baked good impersonation, so my account of said meeting will be written for the breaded stage.

ARIZONA swishes onto centre stage in a tasteful wrap of clingfilm. The beautiful smell of cheese is to be piped through the theatre, and as the audience sigh in appreciation she starts, as if waking from a calzonesexual reverie, and begins to potter about with her small-baked-good cooking equipment. She dons a white napkin for her daily rounds in the small baked goods ward, and other pizzas and calzones begin to file into the hospital in cooking uniform.

ARIZONA: (to COOK ASSISTANT, in a brisk tone) Hey, do you know where I can find Cook Weber? I need him to take a look at a patient of mine.  
COOK ASSISTANT: (shy and with cheese moistening) Well, he's cooking right now, but I'll page him for you?  
ARIZONA: (heedless of the calzone's obvious attraction to her) OK thanks.

ARIZONA turns to leave and then the lights dim, the other actors exit the stage, mood lights come on and the song You're The Most Beautiful Calzone I've Ever Met begins to play. She pauses. CALLIOPE enters stage from back singing the joyful chorus of the song on a sparkling stage wearing an exquisite plastic wrap and ARIZONA stops and stares in awe. They maintain eye contact until the chorus is over. Abruptly CALLIOPE removes wrap to reveal a cooking napkin and steps off the stage, as the bustling crowds of cooking professionals return to the stage and lighting returns to that of a hospital.  
CALLIOPE comes forward to greet ARIZONA and both their cheeses are melting. Their evident mutual attraction is to be made completely clear to the audience: do whatever is necessary to make this clear. Heck, get big neon signs saying 'YOU MELT MY CHEESE' and stick them over the calzones' heads, just so that everyone gets the picture.

CALLIOPE: (extremely fast and nervous) Hi nice to meet you I'm Calliope but you can call me Callie im a dough cook ha thats nice i like my job dough is great you're the new small baked goods cook thats nice haha you are awesome ok see you round

CALLIOPE scurries off stage, embarrassed and melting, while ARIZONA stares after her in awe and desire.

ARIZONA: (to audience) Did you SEE that calzone there?! She's so delicious. I am going to bake with that girl, people. (Swaggers towards the wings) I think I'm in bake.  
ARIZONA exits


End file.
